I’ve always professed to hate the month of August.  I always will hate the month of August.  I will go out of my way not to get pregnant in November or December, just so I never have to celebrate my kids’ birthdays during August and act like I’m having a nice time—heaven forbid something good happen in August and I have to change my mind.

This week has embodied every reason I have always dreaded August.

I will expound:

1.  August is hot.  We don’t have air conditioning in our house.  1+1=August sucks. I rest my case.

2.  This is my last week of freedom before I’m back in school.  One might be tempted to be happy for me, thinking, “Oh great, Camille has one whole week left before school!  That should be fun.” But LET’S NOT GET CARRIED AWAY WITH THE OPTIMISM, READERS.  I have ONLY one week.  That’s not very long.  Not nearly long enough.

3.  I have officially lost hope in every project I was originally planning to undertake during the summer.  I’ve given up.  It’s a lost cause, and the fact that it’s August is only making things worse.

[Here’s the list in its original form, updates for today in bold font:]

-finish painting bedroom furniture black (Dear Mother-in-Law: May I please have permission to paint black the dresser and bookshelf/desk you gave Poor Kyle when he first bought this house?  Please and thank you, Camille.)  (Thought about doing this every day for three months.  Didn’t happen.)

-decorate bedroom  (Ditto.)

-paint kitchen and decorate (1/2 done.)

-buy bike and ride it (Got bike for free and don’t ride nearly enough.)

-sell cans in garage.  $ from sale = $ for garden (Sold cans, but squandered the money at yard sales.)

-plant garden (Ha!)

-organise garage  (Ha!  Ha!)

-organise back entry (Sort of.)

-buy a lawnmower

-borrow a lawnmower (Only once the entire summer.)

–demolish ugly fence

-paint ugly fence

-come to terms with ugly fence (Never.)

-tear out atrocious front bushes

-trim atrocious front bushes

-come to terms with atrocious front bushes (No siree bob.)

-plant flowers from starters

-plant flowers from seeds

-draw pictures of flowers and tape them to popsicle sticks and drive them into the flower beds with a hammer or possibly a rubber mallet, whichever’s cheapest (Good idea in theory…)

-solve garbage problem (Nope.)

-promote UBO (Thought about it.)

-get more than 14 follower on Twitter™ (Hey, did I start the summer with only 14 followers?  Now I’m up to 40.  Sweet.  Then again, Dooce™ has, like, 20 bazillion.  She wins.  Dangit.)

-start Google™ Adsense (Uh…{checks pockets for loose change} no.)

-make poster advertising piano lessons (I did type the poster, but never printed it or hung it around town.  Anyone’s kid need piano lessons this fall?  I’m available starting in September.)

************

So it’s apparent that, for all my good intentions, I’m really nothing but a balloon full of hot air.  Bloated, even.

But I’m blaming it on the August heat, and the fact that we don’t have A/C in our house.

Anything to defer the guilt.

Share this post: on Twitter on Facebook on Google+