I am happy.

I am happy today.

I am happy today because who wouldn’t be happy after looking at this:

That, my friends, is a digital representation of a hand-painted masterpiece, acrylic on canvas, commissioned by me, painted by a dear friend I have known since high school. I say “commissioned” because it makes me feel like the fancy art connoisseur that I always aspired to be back when I was an art history major, but perhaps the better word choice is “begged on my hands and knees for.”

And I bet you’re happier for looking at it, too. Because, like I said: who wouldn’t be? I have never seen a cupcake that didn’t make me smile, and this here is a CUPCAKE THAT WILL NEVER DIE. Seriously? What more could I want out of life?

Actually, just one thing: a cute phrase.

See, here’s the story. My friend Lindsay is an exceptional artist (as you can see by her beautiful work above), and because I like to think I know good art when I see it, I asked her to paint something for me—a cupcake, specifically.

I’d had this vision in my head of a beautiful, luscious cupcake in pale pastel colours with a gleaming cherry on top. I wanted to hang it in my kitchen back when I was painting it last summer, and scoured the earth for this painting from my head, but never did find the one I wanted. I tried simply painting it myself, but HA! What nonsense that phase was.

So, resigned to my fate, I never did hang the cupcake. Because I never found the cupcake.

Then, six months later, I was visiting Lindsay at her house and saw in her studio a series of hand-painted masterpieces just sitting on her desk looking lonely. I flipped through them and saw that they were good.

Really good.

Lindsay, I said, I want one. Will you make me one? Please?

Sure, she replied, and that was the end of it.

Then, six months later, there I was again. Back in Lindsay’s studio flipping through her paintings, and I remembered: I NEVER GOT MY CUPCAKE!

When I brought it up again, she said she just assumed I was only asking to be nice and that I didn’t really want a Lindsay original, so she’d never bothered to create me one.

Well, if there’s one thing I hate, it’s when I come off as insincere when I mean quite the opposite. So this time I made myself very clear: I WANT A CUPCAKE AND I WANT IT NOW.

Except not so demanding.

And now I’ve had word that my cupcake is done, just how I’d always dreamed it would look, but it’s missing one thing: a cute saying.

Lindsay’s trademark is her handwriting, you see. For as long as I have known her, I have thought it should be a font all its own. If you can make out in the right side of the below photo, there is a painting of a girl with words painted around her head. It is along those same lines that I am hoping to have some words written on my cupcake painting, only the problem is this: I, for all my witty charm and brilliance, am coming up blank with anything wonderful to have written.

It’s a lot of pressure, you know. Whatever I choose will be on my cupcake painting forever. This could make or break the entire feel of my commissioned masterpiece. I CAN’T BE RESPONSIBLE FOR SUCH A DECISION. (Good thing I’m never having children, or they’d all be named numbers or days of the week or something.)

So I am opening it up to you, my readers. Can you help me? Can you help me think of what my cupcake’s caption should be? Can you help me think of what my cupcake’s caption should be that will be stunning and magnificent and everything I am not?

And can you do it within 24 hours? I am leaving Mesa Wednesday morning, and I want to take my cupcake with me before the appointed hour.

So here’s the deal. You think of the saying, as many as you like. Send it to me in comment form, and by the end of the day, the person who has suggested the best caption will win.

What will said person win? A grand prize package consisting of 1) The knowledge that his or her words will be hanging in my kitchen for all eternity, 2) The delight of succeeding where I have failed, and 3) A cupcake painting of your own, hand-crafted by my friend Lindsey in the colours of your choice [a $50 retail value, but really, who can put a price on such exquisite beauty?] Or, if cupcake paintings are not your style (psh, cupcakes are everybody’s style…they’re timeless like that), I will work out a deal for a $10 Amazon gift card to the winner.

But you’d be better off to choose the cupcake, because these paintings are going to be sought after classics someday.

I’m just sayin’.

Ready?

Set?

GIVE THIS CUPCAKE A CAPTION!

(Contest closes at 11:59 p.m. Monday night, Arizona time.)

p.s. I hear an Etsy shop is in the works for my friend Lindsay, but as of yet, it is not finalised. If you would like to commission a painting of your own, send me a line and I will direct you to the very woman herself.

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