As you know, I struggle with group projects.
If I could have done it my way, I would have turned in this as my ballad:
Death By Consumerism
(Dedicated to Jdimytai Damour, 34 years)
‘Twas a perilous time to be waitin’ in line
For a steal of a deal in November.
They’d slept there all night under parking lot lights,
For a steal of a deal in November.
And behind the glass doors, a man lowly and poor
Had an eight-to-five shift in November.
He’d figured the math; he’d make time-and-a-half
So he offered to work that November.
He mentioned out loud, “This is one mighty crowd,”
And he worried they might become antsy.
“I had best do my best to protect my blue vest;
If I have to, I’ll try something fancy.”
As the hour drew near, the mob waited in fear
That they might not secure the year’s presents.
Each one of them planned to outrun the next man
In the quest to secure the year’s presents.
And behind the glass door, the man lowly and poor
Said, “It’s time,” and he went to unlock it.
As he did, they rushed in, each one looking to win
In the battle to empty their pockets.
Image from here.
All the shoppers despaired there was no time to spare
As they elbowed their way through the entrance.
Then up through the mass came a cry from a lass
Who had tripped on a fellow by mischance.
“Is it me? Can it be what I think that I see,
There’s a man and he looks to be trampled.
Well I hope he’s okay, he’ll get better someday
As for me, I see coupons and samples.”
Still behind the glass doors, the man trodden and poor
Caught his breath, but too soon it was lost.
Looking up at a sign that read $3.99
His last thought: “It was not worth the cost.”
So there it is, ladies and gentlemen. That’s what I can produce in 40 minutes by myself versus 40 minutes in a group.
p.s. I’m joining in on all the Spin Cycle fun, hosted weekly by Sprite’s Keeper. The theme of the week was “Rhyme Time,” which just happened to fit perfectly with the theme of my life this week. Only as an English major would I ever consider rhymes a central part of my life. What have I done…
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