Guess what happened to me today?

A woman looked me in the face, and asked if I am pregnant.  Just like that.  “Are you pregnant?”

What could have possibly given her that idea? Weird.

Thankfully, I’ve been growing some pretty thick skin since I moved to Canada (must be the windchill factor), and I was amused more than affronted.

“No,” I replied, “Why?  Do I look pregnant?”  I was hoping to make her feel a little awkward about it, and I think it worked, at least a little.

She mumbled something about someone telling her I was pregnant, but it sounded like a shady excuse to me.  Sure, lady—blame it on the neighborhood gossip.  She wouldn’t confess who it was who’d “tipped her off,” so I’ll probably never know for sure.

I’m still pretty amazed, though, even now, hours after she asked.  I didn’t know this sort of thing actually happens anymore.  I mean, I’ve heard rumors of such idiocy, but I never believed that people could seriously be daft enough to straight up ask a woman if she is pregnant.  Sure, they can guess at it behind closed doors, but coming right out and asking, “Are you pregnant?” is risky business; even if the questioner knows that said woman is indeed pregnant, asking outright can be damaging to a lady’s feelings.  And female (specifically this female’s) emotions are certainly no joking matter.  What if I am pregnant but am happy because I don’t think I’m showing yet?  Asking me if I’m pregnant implies that I looks pregnant, and that can be a rude awakening for someone who had (formerly) been pleased with her appearance.

Not that I was pleased with my appearance anyway…

But whatev.  It still hurts.

I mean, I know I have a paunch.  I’ll probably always have a paunch…

The proof is in the puddin’.

But there’s a difference between that up there, and this right here:

Isn’t there?  There’s a difference, right?  Anyone??

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