In my spirit lives the makings of a recluse.  You think I’m kidding, but seriously…  I’m not.

Wouldn’t you be, if you looked like this?

It’s all good and fine to be ha-ha-very-funny on the internet, but I have hours to think of this material; in fact,  sometimes I change words to posts that are months old, just to maximise their optimum hilarity potential.  Oh, I know, it doesn’t matter—nobody ever reads the archives anyway; but that’s just me, always occupied with nonsense that will never amount to much {English degree, anyone?}.

But I digress.  The point is, I try really hard to be funny online, and here, behind the illuminated screen, it sometimes works.  I can sometimes pull it off.

In real life, though?  I’m a major let-down.

I get all nervous when I meet people from blogs (or people from anywhere, really—people just aren’t my forte), and I stumble over my words, and laugh too loud, and I stick my foot so far down my throat you’d think I was bulimic except for I don’t nearly look it.

The point of telling you all this, you ask?  Because I don’t want you to get your hopes up too high for when you meet me next month.

If you live in Arizona, or if you plan to be visiting Arizona during the first two weeks in May, start thinking about what you’re going to wear, because the pictures of this get-together will surely be posted on your blog later.  That’s right, my friends: I’m going to try and overcome my fears, and…

…deep breaths…

…stay focused…

…don’t freak out…

…meet you.

I’ve already Facebooked™ Busy Bee Lauren, and she’s game, which is good because then I can just play hookie and never even show my face.  {But I wouldn’t do that, at least not without thinking really hard about it first.}

So now, all that’s left to do, is 1) wait awhile longer, because what sort of nerd actually plans her lives three weeks in advance, and 2) figure out where this shin-dig should occur.  We’ve already agreed that food must be involved, because.  {That’s right, because.  Do you need any more explanation than that?}  But it can’t be a sit-down restaurant, for, presumably, there will be more than just two people eating, and we can’t be splitting cheques left and right all over the place.  It should be someplace more like Dairy Queen™, where everyone can order what they want, and pay as they go.  Only it can’t be Dairy Queen™, because this was my {and Lauren’s} brainchild, and I can’t eat ice cream, so…

…I’m out of ideas.

This is where you come in, friends.  Do you have any brilliant suggestions for where The First Semi-Annual Meeting of the United Blog Order™ should be held?  If so, jump in and let me know.

Also, just as some ground rules:

1.  Everybody is welcome to join the United Blog Order™ (unless I didn’t like you in high school), if he or she has a blog which the founders can investigate (because we’re no dummies; we don’t want to be accosted by creep-os).  So, if you want to join the order and attend our bash, but you don’t have a blog…BETTER START ONE.  Locations of the Semi-Annual Meeting of the United Blog Order™ will be emailed to active participants, not posted on blogs, so don’t think you can cheat the system.  And if you’re worried that I didn’t like you in high school…heh.  Sweat it out for a while.  (Just kidding: I like you.)

2.  If you are scared of people, like I am, do try to overcome your fears, because it’s going to be grand.  Facing fears builds character, after all {yeah, I never bought that rubbish either, but I sure know how to dish it out!}.

3.  I will wear makeup for you. You don’t have to—we at the United Blog Order™ are no respecters of makeup.  It’s just my own rule I made up for myself.  You know, because I’m so goal-oriented.

4.  If you are interested in joining the United Blog Order™, comment on this post. I’d like to get an idea of what we’re dealing with.  Might help me think of someplace brilliant to convene.

5.  No other rules, until further notice.

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