Dentistry With a Side of Self-Loathing

I have an appointment to see the dentist tomorrow, which should come as a source of deep consternation to me.

And don’t worry: it does.

I’m one of those grown-up-ish girls who doesn’t like to brush her teeth, as you might remember, and every year when it comes time to visit the good doctor (good doctor? Who am I kidding—the man’s a maniac with a drill), I spend about a week brushing furiously, trying to repent for my dental sins accumulated over the twelve months prior.  But deathbed repentance is a cheap shot, and I’m always so transparent at the appointed hour—they can see right through me, and the x-rays only have a tiny bit to do with it.  Granted, my gums never bleed at the dentist’s office because I floss daily—sometimes twice—but that’s my only saving grace, and it’s not enough.  I live in perpetual fear of contracting adult cavities, a fate worse than adult acne, if you ask me.  There’s no excuse for adult cavities , but at least people pity adult acne.

Not that I would know anything about adult acne. On account of how gorgeous I always am, even when there’s nobody to impress…

I have rheumatoid arthritis.  See my hands?  Arthritic.

Quasimodo also suffered from arthritis.  I now have two things in common with him—our faces and our hands.

I wonder if, looking like this, the dentist will have pity and let me off with just a warning?

No gums were harmed in the making of these photos.

Anyway, wish me luck.  I don’t deserve any, but I’d sure like to have some.

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at facebook.com/archivesofourlives, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
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20 Responses to Dentistry With a Side of Self-Loathing

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