I have been in a post-last-week-of-classes haze for the past four days, ever since I sat through my last 50-minute block of the year on Wednesday.

I still have finals to study for and one last project to finish, but the only productive thing I have managed to do with my life lately has been shop for shoes and boots online. And even then I haven’t purchased any—I’ve only gotten as far as adding them to my Zappos.com shopping cart. (But when I finally click the “buy” button for those Kensington Uggs in Toast…it’s gonna be awesome.)

I think my situation qualifies as a classic case of Semester’s End Denial. The symptoms are all here: tossing all my books into a dusty corner of the unfinished office where they will remain until 12 hours before my final exams begin, subsisting on nothing but pizza and string cheese, glibly ignoring the studying still ahead of me in favour of mindless internet time-suckage, and skipping regular showers (wait—that can’t be a symptom of Semester’s End Denial if it’s been a regular occurrence throughout the semester). Well, three out of four anyway: I’m officially diagnosing myself with selective laziness.

Take this post, for example. The elapsed time between when I wrote the first sentence of this post to now was 45 minutes.

Here’s what I did in the interim:

Watched the youtube video Dooce just posted.

Answered a phone call from my mother-in-law.

Tried to talk mother-in-law through uploading photos on Facebook.

Gave up on that and promised mother-in-law to come over and upload photos on Facebook for her tomorrow or sometime this week.

Checked my email five times (no new messages).

Tried to find an inspiring Christmas story for a little lesson I have to give on Tuesday.

Looked at photos of my Kensington Ugg boots in Toast again (you should Google them—they’re beautiful).

Knocked out a few more posts on my Google Reader.

Sent an email.

Phoned my mother-in-law to see if she read my email yet.

Watched Dooce’s movie again.

Came back to this post.

Wait—checked my email again! And there’s a new message! Oh, it’s just Mimi’s Cafe giving me a coupon for four free muffins again. Why does Mimi’s Cafe email me on a regular basis when I don’t live within 12 hours of one, you ask? That would be compliments of Anonymous My Sister, who got some free meal four years ago by giving away my email address to the restaurant and I have never been bothered to unsubscribe from their mailing list since.

And now I ask: was it worth it, Anonymous My Sister? WAS IT WORTH IT? I personally don’t know how you could swallow your cobb salad when it was paid for with blood money email addies—didn’t the lettuce taste…I dunno…sort of metallic?

Hey, maybe I’ll unsubscribe from the mailing list now…it would beat doing something I’m actually supposed to be doing.

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Okay I just went to unsubscribe from the Mimi’s Cafe email newsletter list only to find that my hotmail page won’t load anymore. I think MSN has officially cut me off. Which, I guess, is only fair considering that I just refreshed my browser one hundred times in as many minutes.

But still, they could’ve given me some warning. Last call or something.

Don’t worry about me. I’ll be okay. It’s just a little case of the Lazies. Nothing nine days, three finals, and one Creative Writing portfolio submission can’t cure.

See you soon,

cpsf

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