I know I said I would be cutting back on the gimmicks this semester, but this is a deal I worked out before I got so stressed, and I can’t just go around breaking promises to people. My apologies.

Also, my apologies for the Saturday Steals gimmick that is coming up THIS WEEKEND, starting Friday evening and running through Sunday night. Steal or be stolen.

And then no more gimmicks for at least a month.

*******************************

It’s no secret that I am a wannabe hippie. I use cloth grocery bags. I drive a diesel economy car and scorn SUVs (my sister and I are pretty much not speaking to each other because she’s in the process of buying an Escalade/Denali/Yukon/MegaMegaMcMonsterMobile). If I ever have babies, I will use cloth diapers on their poopy bums. I try to buy local. I even plant my own garden in my head every summer.

So it is no wonder that I have become increasingly interested in essential oils. The idea of curing almost any ailment with nothing but pure essence of nature?

How refreshing.

I’ve been wanting to learn more about essential oils for a while, but have been deterred by their high prices. At my local yuppie store, a tiny bottle of lavender oil costs nearly twenty dollars. It was so small that it looked like it wouldn’t last very long, and I have more important things to spend my twenty dollars on (wait, I don’t have twenty dollars, never mind).

Thus, I decided full-fledged hippihood would have to wait. (I did buy a bottle of orange peel oil because it smelled like Arizona and it only cost $5, but I never knew what to do with it besides unscrew the lid and take a whiff. And that seemed kind of creepy, so I stopped.)

A few months later, though, I received a fortuitous email from my friend Jami.

She wanted to give me two essential oils to try out for free (full disclosure).

I emailed her back all cool and suave, and said something like, “Hmm, I suppose I could pencil in room for essential oil in my agenda,” when what I really thought was “Score!”

A few weeks later, I tore into a padded envelope with my bare hands and teeth, eyes wild with anticipation, looking not unlike a savage bobcat devouring an elephant carcass after starving for three days straight.

My oils had arrived!

Jami sent me one bottle of peppermint and one bottle of lavender oil, because those are two of the most universal cure-all oils—perfect for a beginner like me.

I was anxious to try them out, but sadly, I had the dreadful misfortune of feeling perfectly healthy at that moment. Not wanting to waste even one drop of the precious liquid, I forced myself to wait for a sickness to come upon me before I used the oil.

But before long, I felt like crap—thank goodness!

My first issue arose when I ran out of Diet Dr. Pepper one night and all the stores in Mayberry were closed for the day at some ridiculous hour like 1:00 in the afternoon. I had a horrendous withdrawal headache. Talking on the phone, reading emails, breathing through my nose—everything—hurt. I was in a bad way. After a few hours of pain, I begrudgingly made my way to the medicine cabinet for an Excedrine (begrudgingly because Poor Kyle rarely uses medicine for his ailments and makes me feel like such a pansy when I do). Just as I was about to succumb to the forest green pills—my salvation—I remembered: OILS!

A quick internet search verified that both lavender and peppermint oil are supposed to help with headaches, and I was sold: I put a few drops on my temples, neck, and chest, and waited for the magic to happen.

It wasn’t instant.

But within a few hours, I was past the worst of it. (Just for reference, a headache like that normally lasts infinitely for me, or until I take medicine. Even a full night’s sleep doesn’t cure me.)

A few days later, Poor Kyle was suffering from general achiness and Tired Leg Syndrome (he swears he has it, the wuss) when we were trying to fall asleep. I gave him a back rub and foot rub with a few drops of each oil mixed with coconut oil as a base, and he was asleep in ten minutes. (He has been known to lie in bed, exhausted but restless, until 3 a.m. with the same symptoms.)

Some days later, when Poor Kyle complained of sinus congestion (he’s learning to stop complaining unless he wants to be a lab rat for my oil experiments), I soaked a few drops of peppermint oil into a warm wet washcloth and draped it over his face—immediate relief.

Then, when I had a monster pimple, I dabbed a few drops of peppermint oil on the affected area (the very affected area). It ended up making my eyes burn and water like crazy, so I rinsed it off (apparently it’s too strong for direct application to the face) but the next morning, the swelling and redness was significantly reduced.

I’ve taken to massaging lavender oil on my temples before bed, and I truly believe it’s helping me fall asleep more quickly and rest more soundly. For someone who needs (needs!) a lot of sleep, this is a lovely benefit.

A few nights ago I ate a plate of nachos with jalapeños at the movie theatre (I eat like I’m a kid or something, forgetting that I’m really an old granny) and was paying the price by the time I got home. In a last-ditch effort to avoid vomiting (which I try to do at all costs), I drank a glass of water with a drop of peppermint oil in it.

I don’t know if it worked, but I didn’t throw up.

Also, I could feel it tingle all the way down my throat and through my digestive system, so that was a fun new trick.

My brief experience with these two oils has me converted. They are still expensive, so I won’t be buying any more right away, but I will probably be asking for the starter kit for a Christmas present.

I like the idea of being a homeopathic healer in my own home. It seems like any time I can make my problems go away with natural substances (i.e. healing with essential oils), I should try to do that before getting injected with who knows what chemicals at the doctor’s office. (Now if they only had an essential oil that functioned as a contraceptive, I’d be chemical-free before I could say fetus!)

I plan on buying more oils during the next year. For now, I’m enjoying browsing the website and thinking of how healthy I might be someday. (I am veritably glowing in that fantasy, by the way. I look beautiful and I have lost 15 pounds and I eat cookies all day and my name is Simoné.)

If you are interested, you can check out doTerra’s website and see all their fascinating products (they have an all-you-can-eat kit with every oil under the sun that I’m pretty much coveting but for the fact that it’s worth four car payments, oy vey). Apparently doTerra is some sort of multi-level marketing company, which doesn’t appeal to me at all; but if you sign up, you can get the products for 25% off the retail price, and I will probably do that when I am ready to spend a chunk of cash on the stuff. I don’t think it should deter you from looking into the products, because I believe they could make a difference in your life—I know they have in mine, in the way I think about my health and treat my own ailments. No, I’m not going to go around having married couple friends (if I had married couple friends) over for dinner to talk about the stuff, but I will certainly buy it myself and tell anyone who asks (emphasis on the ask) all I know.

For more information, you can email my girl Jami at spencerandjami(at)gmail(dot)com if you want to read her praise of essential oils or ask her any questions. She has about a million more oils than I do, and she knows about them all. (She’s the real expert, obviously.)

I hope you do.

******************

Now, to sweeten the deal, Jami has offered to give away one bottle of lavender essential oil to one lucky reader.

If you think you might be a closet hippie like Jami and me, you can enter to win some liquid gold of your very own.

You know the drill:

One comment = One entry

Blog post (and comment with the link) = One entry

Tweet (and comment to say you did) = One entry

Facebook (and comment to say you did) = One entry

Email blast (and comment to say you did) = One entry

Any other social spreading of the word (and commenting to say you did) = One entry

Separate comments for each action, please.

Contest closes Sunday, October 3, 2010 at 11:59 p.m.

Share this post: on Twitter on Facebook on Google+