I’ll tell you what I do. First, I realise that the reason my hair looks so awful is because in my Junior year of high school (Grade 11, Canadians!), I decided to turn my mousy, undescriptive hair into a luscious blond, and have never looked back.

Second, I come to terms with the fact that I am now married and someone in the world (read: Poor Kyle) actually notices where my (read: his) money goes.

Thirdly, I realise that perhaps the reason I was so poor as a single gal was because I spent so much money on the upkeep of my hair.

Fourthly, I scratch the “thirdly,” because I realise that for the past five years, I have only spent money to have my hair done twice. All the other times, my dear friends Raygon or Lindsey have done it. For free.

Fifthly, I curl up in a writhing ball at the thought of where all my money actually did go all those years. Carne Asada burritos and QT Taquitos, that’s where…

And sixthly, I invest in a whole lot of these…

[And, okay…I didn’t actually buy them recently. I collected them when I was single and friv-o-less. But it’s handy to have them now that I’m too cheap to get my hair done again…]

…And cross my fingers that the rest of the world won’t realise how I’m trying to pull the wool over their eyes.

p.s. See my window treatments in the background? I made them all by myself: