The last time I was visiting my home city, my amazingly talented and ever-creative friend Lindsay (who, incidentally, has started a fancy new blog and Etsy shop for your online viewing pleasure {and what a pleasure it is}) taught me how to make several different varieties of fabric flowers.
Sitting on pins and needles during the craft lesson, I was the most willing and anxious of students, and I tried to remember as much as possible about her techniques.
Unfortunately, after a few minutes, I was forced to excuse myself to Lindsay’s (adorable) restroom, where I stayed for approximately ten minutes as I talked myself out of throwing up violently.
I had taken ill, you see.
When I went back to the lesson, I apologised to Lindsay and made a hasty retreat back to my parents’ house, because I knew the vomit was only minutes away from surfacing. I don’t know why I caught a little barf bug that particular night, but I did. Within 24 hours it was gone.
I was so embarrassed by my rude exit, but Lindsay said she understood. Luckily, I figured I had been coherent enough during her lesson that I could make all the flowers she taught me when I got back to Canada. Before I started the drive back across the country, I bought all the craft supplies I would need to imitate Lindsay’s fabric flowers, which I intended to do the very moment George Jettson and I rolled into our driveway in Mayberry.
And I meant to, I really did.
Only I got sidetracked with houseguests, and summer school, and BlogHer, and a general life-swallowing laziness the likes of which I won’t get to enjoy for at least another eight months now that fall semester is under way.
It was not until many weeks (lie: months) later that some unexplainable (and altogether unfamiliar) feeling of ambition came over me, driving me into the basement where I had long since tucked those underutilised crafty supplies.
Lugging them all up to the light of my kitchen counter, I proceeded to make some fabric flowers.
I had just one problem: of the four different (and unique) flower-making methods that Lindsay taught me, I could only remember one.
No matter, I decided. I’ll just make a bunch of that one kind. I mean, you can never have too many flowers, right?
Umm, right.
I ended up with twenty-five of them.
Some are white and pink.
Some are pink and brown.
Some are navy blue and striped.
And some are just plain white. (I confess that these are my favourites.)
Some have buttons in the centre, some have gems, some have lace. Some boast singed edges, some do not. They are all different, and I think that’s why I like them so much.
Like them or not, however, it only took me about ten seconds after I finished my marathon to realise that it would be ridiculous to keep all twenty-five flowers.
So I’m going to give ten of them away.
Now, lest you think there is nothing you could possibly do with a handmade-by-Camille flower, just you look:
You can clip it to any blouse to pretend like it came that way.
You can clip it in your hair to turn even the sloppiest of ponytails into a masterpiece.
You can add it to a dollar store headband to make it look like you paid a lot of money for it.
You can add three of them to a dollar store headband for the same effect.
AND, if you’re being really trendy, you can move that headband across your forehead, Rambo-style, because everyone knows that it will turn you cool in, like, less than a second:
Just kidding. I know that would be ridiculous.
It’s too much…
…all you need is one well-placed statement headband to make your style really shine:
But don’t ask me, I just made the dang things one night when Poor Kyle was late coming home from work and I needed to channel my marital frustrations. And now I want them out of my house so they can finally quit reminding me of that dreadful night when I made love to my hot glue gun on the kitchen counter till 3 a.m.
*************************
So here’s how this will work:
If you think you might could get the image of me making love to a glue gun out of your head, and still want a flower, comment on this post for one entry.
Blog about this post for an extra entry (then comment to tell me you’ve blogged).
Tweet this post for an extra entry (then comment to tell me you’ve tweeted).
Facebook it for an extra entry (then comment to tell me you facebooked).
Email it to your entire contact list (or just your Great Aunt Hazel, if you think she’d be interested) for an extra entry (then comment to tell me you emailed).
Shipping will be on me. All flowers will come already attached to a clip. Note that these are not professionally finished (i.e. you can see the hot glue I used underneath). Also, you don’t get to pick your colour—I don’t have time for that—so if you think you can’t handle such a disgrace, take your entries elsewhere.
You get what you pay for.
Giveaway will remain open until Sunday, September 18, at 11:59 p.m.
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