Today is my mother’s birthday. If any single person has had the most influence on my life up to this point, it would be my mother.
There are two ways my mother has influenced my life: intentional and non intentional. I’m sorry to admit it, but it’s true: I am the sort of daughter I would hate to raise. I was not an easy baby, child, or teenager, and I know it. If someone tells me to do something, it is very likely that I will go and do exactly the opposite, simply because I don’t like being told what to do. This is one way my mother has influenced me.
For example…I think it would be brilliant if I could be a paid, professional, published writer. I’ve thought so for a while. My mom thinks so, too, but I find it incredibly annoying when she says I should submit my work to newspapers or magazines, because then, if I do make it big in the writing world, she might think it was all her idea in the first place {heaven forbid I give some credit where it’s due}.
It’s ridiculous, I know. (I said I wasn’t an easy daughter to raise…)
But there’s another, gentler way my mom has molded me into the person I am. She has taught me, by example, the sort of woman I’d like to be. My mom has never been shy—when I was a little girl, I would accompany her to her classroom on a regular basis (my elementary school was where she taught adult education for years). She would introduce me to her students (all adults, mind you), and treat me exactly like one of them—with respect. She was always so proud to be my mom…so proud to introduce me to her friends, her coworkers, her students. I was a handful, yes, but I knew I was loved and cherished. She didn’t feel the need to apologise for her children (and trust me—I was off-the-wall hyper), and therefore, I learned I didn’t need to apologise for being a kid. She taught me self confidence, simply by showing me that I was important. I can’t count the times she has told me, in letters or to my face, that being a mom is all she ever wanted, and my sister and I are her greatest joys in life.
Can any kid be so loved and not feel good about themselves? I submit it is impossible.
Of course, I know my own limits—I know I have many faults. But I also know I am a good person, and that putting on a confident face, even when I am terrified inside, will get me places. My mom taught me that.
And even though I know I’m not ready to be a mom *yet*, I know what kind of mom I want to be when the time comes. I want to be patient, encouraging, empowering, supportive. I want to be a mom like she is.
Mom, I’m sorry I skipped out of town for your birthday, but I know you’re happy that we have the opportunity to be here. {After all, you were the one who taught me to love travel, and to value experiences more than stuff. [To this day, I will always choose an awesome trip over a fancy-pants new car or gadget.] Thanks for teaching me.}
I’ve been thinking a lot about you on this visit to the Cayman Islands, because I know how much you like tropical places, and I know you’d love to be here now. Since you aren’t here, I’ve been gathering pictures of places I thought you’d like to see. {Poor Kyle isn’t always thrilled to stop the car for photo opportunities, so you can be sure this has been no easy task.}
There was this amazing restaurant, Papagallo, which was so amazing at first sight that I pleaded with Poor Kyle to turn the car around so I could snap a picture. It’s only open for dinner, and I don’t know if we’ll get to eat here, but Mom, if you and Dad were paying, we totally would.
There was this flowering bush and white picket fence surrounding a serene, beachside cemetery.
There was this power line with vines growing all the way up it. I thought you’d find it interesting.
There was this random tree by the beach—Poor Kyle and I have dubbed it “The Shoe Tree”—where people have nailed their shoes. I don’t know why, but I thought you’d think it was funny.
There’s this picture of my arm next to Poor Kyle’s, for documenting purposes. I might come back home with “a little colour,” like you’re hoping. We’ll use this picture to judge the progress (although, I have been using SPF 50 sunscreen quite faithfully, so there’s really no guarantee that I’ll come home any tanner than I left [curse that Canadian winter]).
There was this steel drum band set up in the street yesterday. You would have loved it.
Oh, and also…we went to church today.
Happy Birthday! I love you, Mom.
I promise your Mothers’ Day gift will be more…tangible.
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