This morning I clipped my toenails, and as I was sitting there clip clip clipping, I had the strangest feeling that something was wrong.

I couldn’t pinpoint it, not at first, but finally I figured it out:

Who in this great wide world clips their toenails in the morning?

I know I never have before; clipping one’s toenails seems like a very night-ish sort of thing to do, does it not? I usually clip my toenails after a long bath (I rarely take long baths, though, or any baths at all, for that matter), or a good warm shower; maybe after slathering my skin with coconut oil or a good, creamy lotion. I don’t know why, but for some reason, I have ALWAYS clipped my toenails at night, before bed. Usually when I clip my toenails, I dab a quick coat of clear nail polish on them, since I’m bent over anyway (no need straining the same muscle twice when it only takes once to ruin my day). And for some reason, quick little pedicure routines like that have always seemed, to me, best suited for the night.

In fact, the only reason it even occurred to me to clip my toenails at 6:30 this morning was because I noticed last night at yoga that they were looking a little grubby, but I was so exhausted after attempting some of the craziest headstands known to yogi that I came straight home and flopped into bed without even taking off my sweaty socks, let alone remembering to trim my toenails. So this morning I remembered, and it just seemed prudent that I should not let them grow even a millimetre longer before I trimmed those puppies down, and so I did.

But it was weird to be doing it in the morning. In fact, it was weird to be doing anything in the morning; at least, doing anything so early in the morning.

I did lots of other things this morning that I don’t usually do because I don’t usually have four extra hours of being awake before 10 a.m.: I stretched out in bed and took my time getting up, instead of frantically reaching for the nearest hoodie and running out the door like I usually do; I left for school before seven; I sat for thirty minutes in front of the university library because, as it turns out, neither it nor the computer labs on campus open before 8 a.m. SO WHY DID I EVEN BOTHER; I realised that waking up early truly IS for the birds, and wished I was still in bed.

My whole day is probably going to be weird and off-skelter since I just HAD to go and clip my toenails before 7 a.m.

Though, really, the issue isn’t the clipping my toenails before noon part so much as it is the waking up before noon thing that’s throwing off my groove. It is problematic, and, yet again, I am reminded of all the negative repercussions of trying to be something I’m not (a morning person).

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