There’s something seriously wrong with me.
“Just now you’re figuring this out,” you ask? Oh, be quiet, you. Yes, just now.
It’s a strange disease, the complexities of which I cannot fully comprehend. It’s all in my head, I’m sure. I just can’t make it stop.
Here’s my ailment:
Every time the word “probably” comes up in my daily conversations, I secretly want to pronounce it “poorbably.” Porbably. Porbably. Porbably porbably porbably. Over and over in my head I reapeat the nonword. It sounds like a word that Strong Bad would use. What does it even mean? I only know that it has such an easy flow about it, and it wants to be in my brain. I never do say it aloud, because I’m so ashamed of myself for molesting the actual word.
Aside from the fact that I make up twisted words in my head…what’s the deal with my brain repeating it twenty times to myself? It’s like I have OCD, and I can’t rest until I’ve mispronounced the same word a certain number of times.
It’s not just porbably, either. It happens with “Connecticuit.” See that second little “c?” The one that’s supposed to be silent? Well, my brain doesn’t want it to be silent, hidden away like it never existed; my brain wants it to be articulated. So every time I talk about Connecticuit, even though I say it aloud correctly, in my head I hear “Connecticuit. Connecticuit. Connecticuit.”
Is there a prognosis for this disease?
Better yet…is there a cure?
Porbably not.
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