***Background: I’m not using shampoo or conditioner in my hair anymore.  It’s called the No ‘Poo Movement.  You can read the beginnings of my experiment (deep breath…) here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.  Someday I’ll create a page just for those links alone.***

I have not shampooed or conditioned my hair in over two months.

Two months.

This is easily one of the worst No ‘Poo photos I have ever taken.  I look mad.  Don’t I look mad?  I’m glaring at the camera like it just gave me a lousy pickup line and I’m only seconds away from reaching for my pepper spray.  I’m so suspicious of people.

A lot of people have been asking me how it’s going.  They assume that, since I haven’t written about it in a while, I must’ve fallen off the wagon.  Well, my friends, they assume WRONG.  I am proud to say I have not fallen of the No ‘Poo wagon; rather, it has been going so well, there’s really nothing new for me to report.  I hate to be a broken record player saying the same stuff over and over and over again—I’d never manage to keep my readers.

Nevertheless, the people want a report, so a report I shall give:

This is my new outfit I bought in honour of Poor Kyle’s fashionable sister.  Do you like it?  Every time I wear it, I feel a little bit trendy.  Too bad I just have the one outfit—the other days of the week are relegated back to T-shirts and cutoff sweats.

METHOD: I still have not touched shampoo or conditioner in over two months.  About once a week (or a little longer, like eight or nine days), my hair feels overwhelmingly greasy, and I scrub it, in the shower, with a baking soda paste.  I have also tried sprinkling baking soda in its powder form on my hair before showering, and rinsing it out in the shower.  Same results.

This was one of the greasier days.  It’s obvious.

One caveat to note is that my hair only feels overwhelmingly greasy when I don’t shower EVERY DAY.  What I mean is, sometimes I skip a day between showering (cringe if you must—but it’s my least favourite chore in my life {I’d do 10 loads of laundry every day if it meant I never had to shower again}), and that’s when my hair feels at its worst.  If I showered every day, I probably wouldn’t need to use baking soda more than once a month.

Want to know a secret?  Sometimes I only get dressed from the waist up, so I can take a No ‘Poo photo and then go back to bed. These silky green pajamas were a gift from Santa a few years ago, and I practically live in them.  There’s an enormous hole in the crotch, but see if I care.

WHIFF FACTOR: Poor Kyle still swears it doesn’t smell bad, and to prove he is an honest judge, I will share this detail:  He even told me one day, after coming home from work and giving me a hug, that my hair smelled bad.  (I had been working in the yard and hadn’t showered off the stank.)  I was mortified, and straightaway announced I would shower with the Pantene™, but he stopped me.  “Don’t blow all your hard work on this, ” he encouraged, “That would be such a waste.  Just try the baking soda.”  I did try the baking soda, and that seemed to fix the problem.

THE VERDICT: After two months of this, I am feeling fabulous.  Sure, there have been a few weak moments where I wanted nothing more than to work up a good lather on my head; but I’ve stood strong, and I feel empowered by it.  I’M DOING IT.  For once in my life, I’m sticking with the program.  It’s rare, and it makes me feel a little bit like Supergirl.  “Supergirl—Unsung Hero of Hair Follicles Nationwide.”  Catchy, eh?  {No, not at all.  It makes me sound like a deranged cosmetology instructor on some sort of half-baked crusade.}

Anyway, there’s also this: My showers have gotten quicker.  I feel like I am making a difference in the world—however miniscule.  My heart gives a little jolt every time I open the hall closet and see my stash of shampoos and conditioners, just as I left them two months ago, completely untouched.  Normally, I would go through a bottle of each about once a month.  That’s a lot of chemicals I’m keeping out of the sewage system, you know?  I can easily shower in five minutes now, even after a good head scrub.  The shorter my showers, the less water I use, and the more I counteract the freaking ocean and a half that my husband, Poor Kyle, uses to get himself clean every day (the man takes the second longest showers in the world—second only to my own father).

So, do I recommend the No ‘Poo Movement?  Why yes, as a matter of fact.  I do.  I don’t think I’ll ever go back.

p.s. My sister talked me into buying these sunglasses when I misplaced my other pair:

These new ones are twice as big as my normal insecurities allow, and every time I wear them, I feel like someone will see me and point, screaming, “FRAUD!  You can’t wear sunglasses that big!  They’re too big for your head; take them off, skank!” {Hi, I’m Camille, and I live in fear of dressing outside my socioeconomic boundaries.}

Someone please tell me if I’m allowed to wear these or if they belong in the garbage.

(And while you’re at it, could you also help me stop pursing my lips for the camera?  It doesn’t make me look sexy—it makes me look like I’m getting ready to spit a giant loogie.)

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