Faux Motherhood: Day 2

by Camille Posted on October 11, 2011

Day Two of the Faux motherhood Project was better than Day One in the following ways:

I had learned to distinguish between littlest nephew’s whiney cries and serious cries.

I had learned what choices biggest nephew needed in order to get him fed and dressed for the day.

And I had learned how to ask Poor Kyle for a hand with one or both children when I needed a hand with one or both (seriously? single parents? how on earth do you do it?).

But Day Two was worse than Day One in the following ways:

We were more confident with our status as stand-in parents today, which meant we attempted leaving the house for more than a slurpee run. Unfortunately our cockiness got the better of us when we realised that although we remembered a diaper bag with extra snacks and supplies, we forgot one of two pairs of shoes and a stroller…both of which are kind of necessary when planning a long outing with one toddler just learning to walk on his own (shoes for walking on sidewalks, stroller for when that doesn’t last).

Faux Parenting Fail.

We got halfway to Vertuccio Farm before realizing our mistake and scrapping the plan altogether. Except then we’d already hyped it up to oldest nephew so much that he gave us Angry Eyes when we broke the news of our plan change.

Don’t worry though. Icees from Target are the perfect antidote to Angry Eyes of all ages.

Faux Parenting Counterfail.

Vertuccio Farm tomorrow or my name is Auntie Mudd!

And hopefully with fewer fails.

Posted in awesome., family, kid stuffs, nephew, the great state of AZ | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

Faux Motherhood: Day 1

by Camille Posted on October 10, 2011

Poor Kyle and I are in Arizona watching my sister’s two boys (aged nearly four and nearly 1) for five days while their parents (the boys’) are on a cruise.

This pretty much qualifies me as sister of the year for every year until the Second Coming (and PK as brother-in-law of the year, of course).

It also qualifies me as the world’s most overwhelmed and most laughably-unprepared-for-motherhood blogger, ever.

Hence the complete disregard of Saturday Steals over the weekend (so sorry, but don’t worry I’ll link to all who participated in due time).

Hence also the radio silence.

Hence also the end of this post. Because motherhood, even for five days, is just so completely difficult it’s ridiculous and I only have 8 hours (if I’m lucky) to sleep it off before it starts all over again for Day Two.

Stay tuned.

Posted in awesome., family, the great state of AZ, woe is me | 7 Comments

blue-eyed charmer

by Camille Posted on October 6, 2011

(Pre Script: Saturday Steals tomorrow. Be there or don’t be.)

•••••••••••••

We’ve had rain here at a constant rate for 24 hours straight. And counting.

It’s unusual for Southern Alberta, and some people are grouchy about it. That’s because it’s a hint of months to come, and fall just barely got here so we’re not ready for winter yet.

I’m not grouchy, though.

A remnant of my Arizona born-and-raisedness is that I love rain in all its forms. It’s so rare an occurrence for us up that we’re conditioned to appreciate every blessed drop that comes our way.

Quick rainstorms are nice, but long, drawn out drizzles are better. The kind where the sun never even has a chance of peeking through the clouds all day. The kind where you’re guaranteed to be on rainy day schedule day at school (that’s where you get to stay inside during recess and play heads up seven up while the poor teachers are probably ready to kill themselves).

That’s the kind of day we had today and it was lovely.

Made even lovelier by this, the world’s greatest Rainy Day Song (warning: triple F-bomb at 4:03 but it sort of doesn’t sound like it so just pretend they’re saying something else):

What do you listen to when you need to feel cozy?

Posted in awesome., Canada, the great state of AZ | Tagged , , , | 10 Comments

Two questions.

by Camille Posted on October 5, 2011

You know when you are driving down the highway and the speed limit suddenly changes from 80 to 100 (kilometres per hour, of course) and you are annoyed because the car in front of you doesn’t accelerate near as quickly as you’d like it to so you get real close, almost close enough to be considered tailgating and you turn on your left blinker and ease over to check that you’ve got room and you gun it and pass that sluggish sonofagun, just leave him right in the proverbial dust, and you zoom on ahead happy to be rid of the obstacle once and for all, only by the time you get back down to a nice easy non-passing speed you realise that that slow guy finally did make it up to the new speed limit, a little over it actually, and now he’s gaining on you and maybe you should’n’t’ve taken on so much and made such a big production out of how much faster you could go than him, how many more limits you could push because suddenly he’s right on your tail and you can’t just let him pass you: you’re committed to that higher speed but it makes you a tiny bit nervous because going 140 in a 100 zone isn’t all that safe, you’ve bitten more than you can chew but you just had to save face didn’t you?

But of course we aren’t just talking about driving anymore are we.

Posted in Cutting Back, failures, in all seriousness, introspection, Uncategorized | Tagged , | 5 Comments

Saturday Steals: Half-off Salvation

by Camille Posted on September 30, 2011

Hello, and welcome to another rousing round of Saturday Steals, where what you get is what you see and what you see is cheap or free!

To participate, simply:

1) Steal a steal.

2) Write a post about it on your blog (or the AoOL Facebook page), mentioning that you’re participating in Saturday Steals (you can steal the above image if you so desire), and

3) Add the link to said post to the list at the bottom of this post.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I am so exhausted after five straight days of 12+ hour work days that I couldn’t bring myself to type up a Saturday Steal post. But I made a commitment that I wouldn’t leave you in the lurch again.

So I filmed it instead.

Which ended up being every bit as time-consuming as writing a post anyway.

But it hurt my hands less.

Enjoy.

This post is written in conjunction with the Spin Cycle over at Sprite’s Keeper, the topic of which this week is TRADITION! (If you didn’t read that like Tevye you aren’t my friend anymore.) Click here to read more of the most traditional posts on the web this week.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Now it’s your turn! What have you stolen lately?

Add your steal to the link list below to share it with the world. The list will be open from now till Sunday at 11:59 p.m. For reals this time.

Posted in Uncategorized | 6 Comments

Three things.

by Camille Posted on September 27, 2011

Thing one:20110927-212745.jpgI have been drinking water like a champ. This 1L bottle of Evian™ has been refilled and emptied by me five times the past two days. Ten litres of water in two days. Go liquid.

Thing two, related to thing One:

20110927-212807.jpg

Look how clear my wee is as a result!

Thing three, also related to things one and two:20110927-212807.jpg
I came home from a really long day of full-time job, part-time job, and church service to CLEAN TOILETS. My husband cleaned them. Two of them. MY HUSBAND CLEANED TWO TOILETS FOR ME. I LOVE THAT MAN.

Okay, there were four things:

20110927-212826.jpgThe fact that this mustache is made from Martha Stewart Living™ glitter does not detract the least bit from the fact that I would’ve made an excellent man. I’ve always thought so.

Thing five, because if four is good five is better, and with no picture attached: yes I did take a picture of my wee, and yes I am now calling wee what was formerly referred to as pee because that’s what my English friends do and they’re my heroes.

What of it?

Posted in Uncategorized | 7 Comments

Saturday Steals Recap and holy crowsies I’m beat.

by Camille Posted on September 26, 2011

Thanks to my three friends who participated in Saturday Steals over the weekend. You guys made my weekend. (Actually, I had a very good weekend anyway, so you guys made my already-good weekend that much better.)

First up was Ros my English friend from Ticklepea who landed these two sweet books for £1 total:Then Deanna from Meannagan scored free chicken minis from Chic-fil-a™ (which is one fast food joint I will never forgive myself for leaving when I moved away from AZ):And last my sister, Mrs. Five-to-Nine from Five-to-Nine Furnishings, scored this A-MA-ZING mirror-turned-chalkboard (but still partly mirror because it’s awesome and noncommittal like that) for $3.00. That’s right: THREE DOLLARS. She’s so good at what she does:Thanks to all who participated!

It really used to bug me when my friends in high school wanted to branch out and meet new people. I hated branching out. I hated new people. Old people were best, always. Over time that philosophy developed into one of my core mantras that makes up who I am today, and that mantra is this: I would rather have one or two quality friends than 10 so-so friends.

I am carrying this philosophy over to Saturday Steals. Oh, sure, when I first hatched the little egglet of an idea I thought it would get me famous on the internet, that everybody would recognise my little SS coupon image, that all the world would know and love me for my genius. Obviously that didn’t happen, but I love Saturday Steals all the same—and maybe even better for it. If you can join, you can join. If you’re too busy, you’re too busy. It doesn’t matter. No guilt. I’ll still be here, stealing away. Maybe one day I will be stealing all alone but I know who I am—a stealer at heart—and if I’m stealing alone I’ll be okay with that.

Alone is not always lonely.

Do you see the cycle of acceptance here?

She knows herself.

••••••••••••••••••••••••

A lot of people have asked what my three jobs are. I shall tell you:

1. Part time as a managing editor for two academic journals through the University where I graduated (graduated!!!). I’ve been doing this since February and I love it. I work from home mostly. I get to edit, proofread, and harass authors (mostly professor) about deadlines. I also get to Skype with people in France, Germany, London, and Quebec. And Alberta, but who cares about Alberta. This job is good because I am learning so much about the editing world and online publications. I think most people have no idea how much work goes into an online publication, and these ones are really small compared to most. If you care to read my most recent issue (though I don’t recommend it unless you have an insatiable passion for digital humanities, which, really.), click here. My name even appears in the editorial note. It’s a really boring journal, but it’s my really boring journal.

2. Part time as a piano teacher out of my house on weekday evenings. I have 14 students (still have a few more slots, local Mayberrians), all of whom are quirky and silly and wonderful in every way. I still feel blessed that I don’t hate teaching piano, because either way I’m going to teach, so I might as well not hate it. And I don’t. This job is good because it pays the most out of all my jobs and I can do it from home.

3. Full time as a social media specialist and customer retention assistant at a car dealership in the city. This is my newest job, and I really like it so far. It’s also the first full-time job I’ve ever had and I consider it a bit of a disgrace that it took me until the age of 25 to get one. But there it is. This job is good because it comes with benefits and pension and something legitimate to put on my resume at last.

But all of these jobs are keeping me busy and tired.

So this post is finished.

Posted in awesome., blogger finger, Saturday Steals | 2 Comments