Image from here.

It’s been a long time since I’ve done a question/answer post, so today I am going to remedy that oversight.  If you’re new to Archives of Our Lives, first of all: WELCOME!  Secondly, here’s how it goes: The name of the game is “Ask Me Anything.”  Ask me any burning question you have, by way of comment or email [archiveslives@gmail.com], and I will answer it.  When?  When it suits my fancy.  Usually the days I answer questions are Thursdays (except today), and normally I only answer one question per post.  No question will go unanswered…but some may take a while for me to reach.

Today’s question comes from an original reader, and a very good friend of mine, Lindsay. She writes:

“I’ve got a good question prompt for you Camille that I think people would enjoy your answers to…  Whom do you pity? Or who do you think even deserves pity? Would a tragically unemployed housewife such as myself qualify? The unshaven bum on the corner? The Disneyland teacup workers? A mother of 10? Oh, the list could go on and on!”

A: Well, Lindsay, you’ve got one thing right, my friend: The list of people I pity could go on and on.  Despite the fact that I’m kind of grouchy and don’t really like people in general, I am nevertheless very generous in dishing out my pity on deserving individuals.  Among my most pitied are the following:

-Immigrants who have to work jobs they loathe because their options are so limited (i.e. plunging toilets in filthy movie theatres at 3 a.m. every weekend).

-People who are literally unable to help themselves.

-People who have to walk to the grocery store.  Especially in Arizona.  This stirs deep feelings of pity inside my otherwise-empty soul.  It’s probably silly—a lot of people likely enjoy their walks [I myself have even been known to do it from time to time].  Still, it makes me very sad.

But I’m not going to talk about any of those pitiful people today.  I’m going one step further.  The type of person I pity most in this world is the person who gets on my bad side.

Not because I am vicious; I don’t keep a Burn Book or anything.

Though if I did, it would be a tasteful Moleskine™, not a trashy pink thing like this.  Please, girls, show some tact.  Image from here.

No; when a person gets on my bad side, well…that’s the end of it. Like our dear Mr. Darcy once said, “My good opinion once lost, is lost forever.”

It’s true.  I try to give people every benefit of the doubt, and I do my darnedest to let people earn my trust, but if (and when) it becomes undeniably clear that I cannot respect a person…I never will. Furthermore, if I am mistreated, disrespected, or two-timed enough by someone previously dear to me, it is over—and fast.  If I can’t find a loyal friend, then I don’t need a friend at all.  That’s what I say.

Some might consider this a bad quality, and that I ought to forgive and forget and turn my other yadda yadda; I, however, consider it NOT BEING A SUCKER. This is how I live my life, daily striving not to be a sucker.  It’s very liberating.

There was a time in my life when the most important feature I looked for in a friend or a date was humour—whether or not so-and-so could make me laugh.  But I’ve changed.  Now, I’m all about loyalty.  And sincerity.  Really.

You could be as boring as a trigonometry textbook on sleeping pills, but if you were always genuinely nice to me, I’d be your lifelong pal.  Image from here.

So what have we learned from this, class?

Simple: Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, and earn my unending pity, because you lost out on something wonderful…

Truly, a face only a mother could love. Who wouldn’t want to be loyal to a person like this?  Anyone?

[Cue crickets.]

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