Oi, another Monday. I don’t digg Mondays; not too much. I don’t know why—I have no scheduled classes on Mondays, but… I don’t know. I think Mondays are too much of a let-down after the loveliness of Sundays {though I’m told Sundays aren’t nearly as lovely if kids are involved}. At any rate, I don’t believe in difficult things on Mondays—it’s against my moral code or something. So today, I’m going to answer another reader question. It’s been a long time since I’ve answered one of these, so I might as well, eh? Plus, after writing so many literary papers this semester, my mind can’t really…think anymore. Call me a cop-out if you must {you’d probably be right}.
Question, from Anonymous:
Hahaha do you think any of the ppl you write about would be offended if they stumbled upon your blog? {This question was posed after a particularly bitter diatribe.}
Answer, from Me:
Hi, Anonymous! Who are you? Are you in hiding? In a secret annex? Are you a member of the Witness Protection Program? {I always thought that would be cool.} Why are you hiding behind your anonymity? Not that I can blame you—I long for anonymity quite often, too.
In answer to your question, yes. I think a good many ppl would be offended if they ever read some of the things I’ve written about them. My one wretched English Professor comes to mind. I have rhetorically massacred her many times on my website, and even more in the imaginary book in my head:
Here and here, to name a few (there would be a lot more if this semester would last a little longer {not that I’m complaining!}) As a matter of fact, back when I was writing for the University paper, and publishing my real name and my real website address, I was a little bit paranoid she would find my blog and read how much I hate her. Luckily, I’m done with the paper, and I’m pretty sure she is way above blogging, anyway. She only reads dadgum poetry and literary journals—deep stuff. {She has a Doctorate, after all…} She’s one of those ppl I will probably loathe until I die.
Other ppl who might be offended if they stumbled upon my blog: the ppl at Ford™, the ppl at Wal*Mart™, crazy nail-clipping maniac ppl, ppl who stab me in the back, Canadian ppl with poor grammar, kiosk ppl at the mall, and all the communist ppl in China.
Lots of ppl probably hate me, if you want to know the truth.
So now I have a question for you, my secret annex friend: Did you ask me that because you think I’m too harsh on ppl? What about the rest of you, my readers? Are you offended? Have you been in the past? Should I tone it down a bit? Do you think I should create a sweeter type of myself, a version 2.0, and just consider my blog thus far as a beta? Or would AoOL not be AoOL without the literary onslaughts? What do you say?
Because I know I come off a little bit like I hate the world or something. And I’d be sad if I’m giving ppl the wrong impression…
…because that would be a pity.
20 Responses to {Ppl Mite Get ‘Fended}