Tamra Camry would like to announce that she is back in Arizona.

She left Canada on a whim Tuesday at 4 p.m. She drove. She drove and she drove and she drove. She didn’t get tired, not once (okay…maybe she got tired once. Or twice.). She kept going, for nine whole hours, all by herself, because she’s a trucker–er…a sedan-er.

Finally she stopped at a motel in Pocatello, ID. She only slept for four hours, though, because Pocatello, ID is eight hours closer to Arizona than Mayberry, Canada. So Tamra Camry started driving again at 7:00 a.m. Wednesday. She drove. She drove and she drove and she drove.

She stopped. She stopped for a snack of regular unleaded for $3.79 a gallon. She blanched. At $3.79 a gallon, she ought to have been sipping the liquid gold, not guzzling it. She assuaged her guilt by reminding herself that she was an Asian import, and thus far superior to every other car on the road. Except the Mini Cooper (because what car wouldn’t rather be British than Asian?).

{Photo swiped from here, because Tamra Camry doesn’t know any Mini Coopers in real life.}

She drove more, occupying her thoughts with an audiobook on her iPod, and getting lost despite the “help” of her GPS (who she secretly thought was trying to sabotage her. Sneaky traitor.).

And finally, 23 hours after leaving Mayberry, Tamra Camry rolled into the Granny’s driveway. She’s happy to be in Arizona. She likes driving on asphalt that doesn’t have a layer of snow or ice covering it. She likes knowing she can drive through any drive-through she wants–Super Burrito, Sonic: America’s Drive Through™, Pete’s Fish & Chips… She likes being back in the land where she was born and raised (or at least raised, anyway).

She is happy to be home.

The only thing she’s sad about is that, in driving, she missed both Tuesday and Wednesday episodes of the season finale of American Idol, and wonders if anyone she knows in Arizona Tivoed them?

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